A minister was called to come to the bedside of a man who was dying.  It was late at night, but in spite of the lateness of the hour, the minister came and did what he could for the dying man.

In a barely audible voice, and between hoarse hacking coughs, the man confessed his sins and asked the Lord's forgiveness, as the minister bent close to catch his words.

        As he was leaving, the minister, with a rather puzzled tone to his voice, said to the man's wife,

 "I was happy to come and comfort your husband the best I could.  But, you're not members of my church!   Don't you have a minister of your own faith?"

      "Oh yes," the woman said, "but we couldn't call him out in the middle of the night and have him     exposed to scarlet fever." 

            Sometimes we are all called upon to do things, to attend to the needs of others,  regardless of the personal inconvenience it may cause us; regardless of how inopportune it may be; regardless of the personal sacrifice it may demand from us.   And most of the time we do those things because that’s where our heart is!  We drive our children to netball, to rowing, to school plays and  to piano lessons.  We deliver meals on wheels, we take a neighbour to hospital, we look after our grandchildren when they are sick  - despite the inconvenience to us – because we love them and care for them.    Its simply ONE way of us showing our love for them!     These “Acts of Service”  as we call them, are for some people the primary vehicle through which they express love to their spouse, to friends, to the church and wider community, and to God.

Today we come to the last in the series of five sermons entitled the Five Love Languages.

These Five Love Languages are , according to Dr.Gary Chapman, the five primary ways through which we express love to others, and through which we receive love from others.  And each of us uses at least ONE of these Love Languages as the way through which we primarily express love to others – and through which we will see and recognise the love of others towards us.    We have looked, so far, at Words of Affirmation; Quality Time; Gifts; Physical Touch… and today we look at Acts of Service.

            Within a marriage relationship,( and I want to talk about that relationship first ) --by Acts of Service, I mean doing things!    For some people, when you DO things for them, when you do Acts of Service, this will really light up their lives.  They will see your acts of service as a wonderful gesture of love towards them.   If this is your spouses primary love language  - then when you do things for him, or her, then they will interpret those acts as expressions of your love for them – and they will be thrilled and overjoyed, and appreciative of what you have done for them.  Those acts of Service don’t have to be huge brave and courageous acts – they can be just ordinary, little things you do for him or her.

            They can be the kind of simple actions which , within a family, need to be done nearly every day.  Things like cooking a meal, setting the table, clearing the table, washing the dishes or stacking up the dishwasher; putting out the rubbish; changing the baby’s nappy; putting your dirty clothes in the clothes basket ; maybe doing the washing or the ironing, cleaning the car, mowing the lawns, weeding the garden washing the windows, or cleaning the oven. 

If Acts of Service is my Love Language – then I will show my love for others by wanting to DO  things for them – anyone, anywhere, anytime.    And if you do something for me – I will interpret that as a real act of love for me!

            The wife who complains that her husband doesn’t do anything around the house is probably expressing in a negative way that Acts of Service is her Love Language  - but she is not being shown any love!   Her husband is not DOING anything for her.    

Acts of Service is not just a Love Language for within the marriage relationship.

We all speak one or more Love Languages – and through those we show our love for others.

It is very clear to me that there are some of you who are members of this church, for whom Acts of Service is your primary love language.   It is never too much trouble for you to do something if you are asked.   Michael Lucas said to me the other day – if there is anything I can do to help – let me know!  Now there are some people who say that – but when the crunch comes – they find a way out! 

Well last Sunday evening, after Evensong, – I was aware that a lot  of small  stones and grass and dirt had been tramped in onto the carpet after a large Family Service on the Sunday morning. So, rather embarrassingly, I asked if he would mind putting the vacuum cleaner on the main aisle  after he had been in for the prayer group on Monday morning!   Michael was genuinely delighted to be asked. Because I think that Acts of Service is one of  Michael’s Love Languages. And it’s the same for others of you whom I could mention by name!   But if I had asked someone else to do that , for whom Acts of Service was NOT their Love Language – they may well have been offended , and told me where to go – and why couldn’t I do it myself!  I asked Michael if he could arrange the palms – and he again, generously and willingly agreed – together with Jill. And they fitted that in around weddings and numerous other things which probably made it very awkward and inconvenient for them. But there was not the slightest hint of dissatisfaction from them.      There are many others of you, also, who just love to do things for others.  But you are also the same people, who, when others do something for you, you just light up and blossom – because you see that Act of Service as a real expression of love – and that fills up your love tank. 

What I’m not saying here  is that we should therefore just depend on those people for whom serving others is their natural flair – and the rest of us can sit back and be waited on – and let THEM do all the work – because they get such a kick out of it!  Not at all!   We need to learn to reciprocate the very expressions of love which others show to us.

            If others give us gifts – we ought to think about how we can give some gift back to them. If others speak words of Affirmation to us – we should be thinking about how WE can be more affirming to them. If others are always serving us – we need to think about how we can serve them more!

            The example of all this is God Himself. And in Acts of Service, we see that God speaks that Love Language too!   When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt, and they get to the end of the road – literally - on the bank of the Red Sea – they all suddenly begin to complain, because  Pharaoah and his army are in hot pursuit.   But Moses knows the nature and the heart and the calling of God - and he tells them “Don’t be afraid! Stand your ground, and you will see  -- what the Lord will do to save you today.”

            The God we worship and the God who has made himself known to us in Jesus Christ – is a God who serves!  Incredible isn’t it!  That God the Creator actually takes the form of a servant and gives His life in service for us!   Amazing!    For the next 40 years, we could honestly say that God showed his love for his people through many Acts of Service.   The Israelites came to understand God’s love for them through what He had done for them.

  Jesus spent his ministry in Acts of Service – serving others!   The most poignant and powerful example of that was what immediately preceeded the Last Supper on the night before he was crucified. Jesus  could well have said – this is my last night before I die – couldn’t one of you  wash my feet?  But no – Jesus doesn’t say a word!   Instead, He takes a towel and a basin and washes the disciples feet. He takes the place of a slave and a servant, and shows his love for them through Acts of Service.

            Those who serve others are perhaps closer to the model which Jesus gave us of how we are to live and show our love for others, than any other model of ministry.    And if this isn’t our primary love language,and it doesn’t come naturally – then we need to learn it.    This coming Thursday evening  is Maundy Thursday – the night we commemorate that Last Supper when Jesus met with the twelve, and washed their feet. It is called Maundy Thursday – for the word “Maundy” comes from “mandatum novum” – meaning – “the new commandment” – the new mandate – and that is to love one another, as Jesus has shown his love for us.- and that is the way of service.

            The Misionaries of Charity – the order of Sisters begun by Mother Teresa – are firmly convinced that each time we offer help to the poor and the needy, they really offer help to Christ.  They said “When we touch the sick and the needy, we touch the suffering body of Christ.” And again, “Jesus is the one we take care of, visit, clothe, feed, and comfort. Every time we do this for the poorest of the poor, to the sick, to the dying, to the lepers, and to the ones who suffer from AIDS, we should not serve the poor like they were Jesus; we should serve the poor because they are Jesus.”

Whether in a marriage, in family or friendship relationships – the true way we will know whether there is genuine love is when we are willing to Serve  others.  Jesus took a menial task – washing the disciples feet – - an act of Service - and transformed it into an act of love and dedication.

We do the same when we serve others whether at home, or in the community.   We may not all be called upon to minister to a patient dying of scarlet fever – and be exposed to all those dangers, but we WILL all be presented with countless opportunities this week by which we can show our love  - and Christ’s love  - to others, and to God - by simple and ordinary Acts of Service.   

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 QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION: 

 1.  If our spouse has a preference that some “Act of Service” be done in a certain way, is it important that we do it their way?

 2.  Name three simple but humble tasks that you don’t especially like but know your spouse would be pleased to see completed.    Why don’t you surprise your spouse by doing them without being asked!

 3.   Name three simple but humble tasks that you wish your spouse would do for you !

 4.  How prevalent and ingrained is gender and role models which prevent us from “acts of Service”.

 5. Discuss two different views that individuals and societies have held for centuries:

1)      that fulfillment and happiness lie in being at the top and having others serve you;  and

2)      fulfillment and happiness are found in serving others.

 6. What can we do to  help us see our acts of service as being something we do for Jesus ?  

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