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Its probably not something you lose sleep about at night – and I don’t  lose too much sleep over it either – but it sometimes rears its head and stares me in the face, and I have to try and figure it out.

It’s what I call the unreasonableness of faith.  It afflicts me sometimes, and I’m pleased to say that we are in good company – because it often afflicted the people whom we read about in the bible. 

What do I mean by the “unreasonableness of faith?” Well I think I mean the fact that God calls us to live in a dimension where Faith, not Reason is paramount. I’m not saying that we are called to abandon Reason, but rather that in our daily living, we are often challenged to go beyond Reason., - sometimes even like we are out on a limb – and maybe even disregard Reason and trust that the prompting we are getting, or the thought that wont leave us, or the impulse that wants to lead us in a certain direction – is actually from God.  There may be nothing logical or reasonable or rational about such thoughts or impulses or promptings – but somehow we get the message from scripture that this is what faith is often all about. Faith goes beyond Reason.

Let me give you an example that stands out in my mind.  Back in about 1973 I was vicar of Clevedon Parish. The parish included Beachlands. There is a small unexciting fibrolite clad church, called St. Hilda’s  which was built many years ago when Beachlands was a very distant bach community. We had a mid-morning communion service there each week on a Thursday morning, which was mostly attended by elderly folks who found it difficult to get to the fortnightly 8am Service. On this particular Thursday morning – about the time in the Service when I was getting the bread and the wine ready at the offertory, - there suddenly came into my thoughts – very strongly – the prompting that I should give an invitation that at the end of the Service there would be an opportunity for any who would like to receive the Laying on of hands for healing, to remain behind. Now I had never done this before!  I had conducted Healing Services – but they had been planned and advertised. And furthermore, here was  a rather traditional and conservative congregation who would probably think this very young vicar was getting a bit carried away. As I continued to take the Communion Service the thought refused to leave me! My heart began to pound, my breathing quickened, and  I tried to tell myself that perhaps I was just wanting to make a bit of a show of myself;  and that this wasn’t really appropriate at this place and time! And I’d just like to say, as an aside, that its not easy to try and concentrate on  the words of the Communion Service when you have these totally distracting thoughts -  and this battle - going on inside! I found myself getting more and more anxious about this as the service progressed. Was I just imagining this, or was it God asking me to do something  which I hadn’t planned on?  Eventually, - and I think rather sheepishly - at the end of the Service I gave an invitation for any who wanted to receive prayer and laying on of hands , to remain behind , after I had seen the others out.  So I went down the aisle to the vestry, - which was by the front door- and then outside to say farewell to the parishioners who would soon be coming out. I waited for a minute – and no one appeared, and then another minute, - and still no one. At that point I began to panic and imagined that they had all got up and gone out by another door to avoid me! And then I looked back inside the church and realized that every one of those parishioners, saintly people, were waiting for me to return to lead them in prayer, and to pray for them and with them. As you can guess – that stands out vividly in my mind. A number of the parishioners came forward for prayer for healing and were most grateful for the opportunity, while others had stayed behind to pray for those who wanted God’s healing touch. God did a great work that day.   When the thought and idea first came to me I though, how unreasonable! There is nothing logical or self-evident to suggest that either - this is something I ought to do, or that there was any evidence that this is something that was wanted by the congregation.  Yet there came the moment when either I needed to totally dismiss the thought – or surrender to it.  And in that instance – I surrendered to it – and it became very obvious during the prayer time and following – that that was what God wanted all along. 

            It seems to me that often there is a tug of war between our heads and our hearts.  With my head I like things to be reasonable, logical, - and assume a sensible and obvious outcome. I like  to know what I ought to be doing!   And then there is the tug of the heart. – And I think it is here where we find out about and learn about faith. I haven’t figured all this out yet. There are still huge questions I have about Faith. But when I read the scriptures I see other people having these same struggles,- and that encourages me.   I see that sometimes they follow the nudgings of God – and they call it God’s Word – and when they follow those promptings or leadings – almost invariably something happens. And often quite amazing. And I know that when I don’t follow those nudgings – I have probably missed some serendipitous and ‘faith-filled’ moment with God.

I wish it were easier to have faith in God in these sorts of moments – but then I realize that its probably either pride or stubbornness , or both, which most likely stands in the way.

Abraham and Sarai had some early doubts about God, but in the end,  they sensed a call that wouldn’t let go of them, and they left their home and traveled to a new land. And so the whole plan of salvation began to unfold.

I suppose Matthew  had a few doubts when Jesus called him to follow him – but he went – and his life was transformed. What about the Leader of the synagogue who’s daughter had died? . Did he come to Jesus absolutely confident that Jesus would raise his daughter from the dead?  I think if it were me – it would be desperation mixed with faith that would drive me to Jesus.  And what about the woman who had had bleeding for twelve years?  Well she seems to demonstrate amazing faith and certainty in the healing power of Jesus – and we are all thrilled to read that she was healed. Well, Im pleased those accounts are there in scripture. Perhaps like you - That’s where I want to be too ; able to trust God more that regardless of my situation, or my predicament, - regardless of what my head says, what Reason, logic and rational thought tells me – God is still with me – God is speaking- God is at work in my situation – and God IS working out His plan in me – and God IS working out his Plan in YOUR life also – even today – even if you think it’s a shambles! You have come here to meet with God today – and to discern His Voice and His Way a little more clearly in your Life.  I can only say – don’t let go of God!  Hold fast to Him.  Follow that prompting, that leading and that guiding – that inner voice, – even if you aren’t sure! After all, that is the unreasonableness of faith.